The wedding from hell
First off, I'm kinda new to this blog thingy so forgive me for my slowness.
Anyway the wedding that we went to on the friday before my birthday was hellish. Not the one in scrapersville, that one was beautiful. The first bad thing was that it was on a Friday. That was bad enough on its own. Then we go to a place on the south side known as the Old Barn for the reception. You south siders know it, those that don't ask the south siders about it. Anyway the food is okay but the place is a little too seventies-a-rific for us. Then comes the seating for us, our table is in the corner. Who cares right? Then my best man notices that our table number doesn't correspond to the rest of the order, the brides friends switched numbers to be closer to the dance floor! Again, who cares?
But I digress, at the table next to us is a motley collection of people that are relatives that hadn't heard that the seventies ended. We had two ladies in mu-mus, a Leisure-suit Larry lookalike in his forest green velvet Leisure-suit, and nearly ZZ Top Beard.
The comes the procession. The parents look ok except for the step-father of the groom, who is wearing a blazing red, Captain Kangaroo sport coat with a pair of dress shoes that belong on someone who is a professional ballroom dancer than on the DJ for the wedding. That's right the Step-father of the groom was the DJ. Talk about saving money. Then comes the happy couple who process in to the music they play at Sox Park to intro the players, wearing their White Sox jerseys in the home colors. Can anyone say hellish. We beat a hasty retreat after the music started, with bad club hits from the early nineties. At least my birthday was that weekend so that we could forget the hell and go forward from there.
Anyway the wedding that we went to on the friday before my birthday was hellish. Not the one in scrapersville, that one was beautiful. The first bad thing was that it was on a Friday. That was bad enough on its own. Then we go to a place on the south side known as the Old Barn for the reception. You south siders know it, those that don't ask the south siders about it. Anyway the food is okay but the place is a little too seventies-a-rific for us. Then comes the seating for us, our table is in the corner. Who cares right? Then my best man notices that our table number doesn't correspond to the rest of the order, the brides friends switched numbers to be closer to the dance floor! Again, who cares?
But I digress, at the table next to us is a motley collection of people that are relatives that hadn't heard that the seventies ended. We had two ladies in mu-mus, a Leisure-suit Larry lookalike in his forest green velvet Leisure-suit, and nearly ZZ Top Beard.
The comes the procession. The parents look ok except for the step-father of the groom, who is wearing a blazing red, Captain Kangaroo sport coat with a pair of dress shoes that belong on someone who is a professional ballroom dancer than on the DJ for the wedding. That's right the Step-father of the groom was the DJ. Talk about saving money. Then comes the happy couple who process in to the music they play at Sox Park to intro the players, wearing their White Sox jerseys in the home colors. Can anyone say hellish. We beat a hasty retreat after the music started, with bad club hits from the early nineties. At least my birthday was that weekend so that we could forget the hell and go forward from there.
posted by The Big Man at
7:45 PM
6 Comments:
I can't decide whether that's funny or tragic.
By
Kitten, at September 27, 2005 at 10:19 AM
Oooh! Did they have plastic flowers? I went to one once where they had plastic flowers and a mix tape for a DJ.
By
Anonymous, at September 27, 2005 at 10:52 AM
Of *course* they had plastic flowers!
These folks also had the sweet table out during cocktails, so the whole thing was dessimated before dinner even started.
The groom also bragged how cheap he was able to get everything.
By
Anonymous, at September 27, 2005 at 1:17 PM
And then there was the plastic clappers that were used by the people in attendance to make the happy couple kiss. After the third try I was ready to go postal!
By
The Big Man, at September 27, 2005 at 5:56 PM
That is SO tacky. Now, bear in mind that I make these comments and yet (a) have more family than God and (b) am nowhere near planning a wedding, but why, if you can't afford to have 400 people show up, wouldn't you just invite a few? Or skimp in places (like the sweet table, for instance) where people don't really care if you have it or not? It seems pointless to me to do everything you don't wan't to do (poorly) instead of doing something you really want to do (and doing it well). But hey, what do I know?
By
Anonymous, at September 29, 2005 at 12:58 PM
I can with all confidence say that the answer to your question(s) is entirely dependent on who is picking up the tab.
By
Anonymous, at September 30, 2005 at 2:56 PM
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